Last summer was one of the longest in my life. Getting settled in a new (albeit familiar) country and all the trouble of finding a new job were minor annoyances. The real kicker was my mother´s deteriorating health condition.
Mom’s ailing health was one contributing factor why I decided to move back to Finland. She got her final diagnosis in May. I had expected bad news, but it was still a shock. Nothing could be done. Nothing could've been done even if the disease had been found earlier, but at least I would've moved back sooner. Instead, unknowingly, I prioritised my previous job and project.
It was heartbreaking to see how my mother had to bid farewell to everything that mattered to her. First it was the long walks in the forest; nature had always been so important to her. Then driving around in her own car, the symbol of her freedom. Then her apartment, whose balcony renovation she never got to see to completion. Ultimately she had to say goodbye to her friends and close ones. It was a harsh lesson in the impermanence of everything. Life is a paradox: at the same time we try to hold on and learn to let go.
I loved my mother very much and I feel great gratitude for everything she did. One couldn't hope for a better mom. She did her very best to raise her children properly: she taught me honesty, accountability, fairness, and also caring and kindness, and she was always there to listen and help when I had worries. Kiitos!
She departed in peace and without pain. Somewhere, some day, we will meet again. Until then, lepää rauhassa äiti.